“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”Create visual
Funny quotes
A selection of funny and witty quotes. To laugh, smile and see the bright side of life.
17 quotes“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”Create visual
“I can resist everything except temptation.”Create visual
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”Create visual
“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”Create visual
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”Create visual
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”Create visual
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”Create visual
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”Create visual
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”Create visual
“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”Create visual
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”Create visual
“I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”Create visual
“If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”Create visual
“I'm not saying I'm going to rule the world, or start a planet-wide war, but I am saying I'm going to be the best at whatever I do.”Create visual
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”Create visual
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”Create visual