“If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.”

“Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.”

“The only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”